started a new blog.
if you want the url you may have it.

the end.

you always told me how thoughts consumed your mind. how you couldnt stop thinking. sometimes multiple things at once. i would tell you, i didnt know what that was like. there were times when i had no thoughts at all. i think i know what its like now. ive found myself trapped in my thoughts. they have become all consuming. imposing on relationships. they make decisions for me.

there is a movie, where people can have their memory erased. i think about that often. how simple things would be if i was incapable of remembering. i would be free.


the world would be new and exciting. instead of worn out and expected.

i dont know what to fill my glass with...

i should probably start getting used to this.
accept it and stop thinking there has to be something more.

there's probably not.

straight stares, stiff necks.
there is no one but me.
though its all the people forcing me to leave.

broken bonds, strings untied.
burn them in flames.
part ways with the past.

new faces, growing near.
playing safe pieces.
give and take.

effortless existence.
chapter 19, may you be the best.

we keep filling up our cups, always sure that they are half full.

losing hope.
losing purpose.
losing sense of self worth.

forgive me father, for i have sinned.