blinded by oncoming lights far to many times on the trip back. its hard enough seeing clearly through water. traffic lights, lamp posts, they blur in the distance. as i try to catch each thought racing by my mind.
ive been trying to make the best, make it comfortable in this hole.
i need to climb out. there is no best, when your in the pit of your worst.
pit falls. downward spirals. stuck. still standing.
i need to climb out.
and run. run away from everything.
everything in that hole.
everyone in the whole.
you will only keep hurting me.
breaking open the just barely healed wound.
a new tear. fresh air. stinging. burning. daily.
if i claim to hate. if i claim to have not loved. to have never loved. if i say it. over and over again. will it become true? could i trick my mind, could i brainwash myself, into believing its true.
because it would be easier than. i wouldnt care.
i wouldnt love. i wouldnt hope. i wouldnt try.
... but i also wouldnt smile.
so many thoughts crowding my mind.
i wont bombard your hearts or your eyes.
goodbye.
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