fragments.

i hate night driving. oncoming lights. feeling as though the lane is smaller than it was when the sun was out. possible night animals changing fields, journeying across the weary pavement.
except when its like tonight. you and the road. no one else. no oncoming lights, the width of the lane is just fine, not a sign of movement anywhere. no lights in the mirrors. no one. the whole way. where you can drive, and think, and not have to worry so much about how to drive. you just get there. somehow. some way.
i like that night driving.

there was a time when i would have considered myself wise. offering up advice, and my occasional words of wisdom, to anyone that read. i knew answers. or at least i had them. i could pick people up, carry them until they could walk again. wise would be the word.
i no longer feel wise. or full of answers. i feel as though i am blank and empty. i dont write words of wisdom, i spill out my feelings. i dont have the answers. you become stripped of that wisdom when your world comes crashing down. you are no longer okay enough to see through the fog. you become those you carried. and now you need carried. i need carried. i need the wisdom... it changes you. being stripped from your home. being torn from the love in your life.

suddenly. you no longer know how to live, what to do, where to go. you no longer have the capacity to see to tomorrow. just into the next hour.
how long will it be until i go can back. confident in knowing that its the way it was always supposed to be.

i miss you.