you are not [you]

is it okay that i hope i hear from you?
is it okay that ill never be okay with not knowing?
is it okay that i cut the strings?
is it okay that i will cry daily if youre not here?
is it okay that i want you near me?
is it okay that i still hate what you did?
is it okay that im not who i said i would be?
is it okay that im not always kind?

is it okay?

do you have any idea?
will i ever know?
can i know?


running around tracks.
they play non stop.
they circle. and re-circle
never ceasing. never stopping.
youve lingered there for quite some time.

ive never been so okay with myself as i was then.
ive never felt more connected, to someone. to something.
to anything at all.

i tried pumpkin pie that november.