pause.

we are fighting more than we did.
i have my theories.
i have my opinions.

i doubt they are true.
it would make sense if they were.

we talk in circles.
constantly picking
and hitting at our low points.
bringing things up.
over and over again.

i dont know the motives.
the intentions.
the reasoning.

i know mine.
and i am stopping.
it is absolutely ridiculous.

you wont even stop to listen.
to let me explain.
youre too caught up in yourself.
maybe if you did.

you would know that i am doing whatever i can to keep myself going.
you would know that i am doing whatever i can to live each day.
you would know that i am doing whatever i can to make sure i get out of bed.
you would know that i am doing whatever i can to not lose my mind.
to be okay. to smile. to laugh. to not keep sinking in this life.
to feel something other than pain. to not feel empty. to eat.
to bathe myself. to get to tomorrow.
you would know that i am not doing anything to make you mad.
to irritate you. to despite you.

you would know, if you would just stop.
that loving you is the hardest thing, and the best thing i have ever done.