deflated. defeated.

i can not spend entire days in bed.
i can not sleep away my life.
my problems.
my pain.

i can not let whatever it is.
that is controlling me.
i can not let it win.

but i dont know how to stop it.
i dont know why i should.

when you fill yourself up.
when you fill your life up.
for so long. with one thing.
and then one day. you have been drained
you have been emptied of that.
that is when you no longer know how to live.
you no longer know how to be okay.
you dont know how to get up.
how to move.
how to feel.
how to smile. or laugh.

why would you know.

when the love from your life is gone.
what is there to keep you going.
who is there to keep you afloat.

im sinking with out it.
receiving it.
and giving it.

that is all i need.. why is that so hard?